Je suis prêt, envoie-moi

I was made for sunny days

2012-01-16T01:13:00.000-05:00

so it's been a week, today, since I arrived in Kenya! We have done so much in my short time here. We have visited one university (Kenyatta University) and will visit another today (Nairobi University). We have travelled to two markets. I have experienced Nairobi traffic to get around town. Emily and I have cooked and eaten all sorts of familiar food here. Yesterday, I had my first taste of Kenyan food! There has been so much and this list is not even close to all of it.

Yesterday was a pretty cool day. We went to church at Ruaraka Baptist Church. We sat in one of the services of the church and I was very blessed by the teaching about abiding in and depending on the Lord for without him, we can do nothing. During the service, there was little baby (He was probably about 2) who looked at us and smiled. So, I decided to make faces at him. To this he laughed a lot. I realized Emily was doing the same when the child returned a face with his cheeks puffed out. He was mimicking her. At two points, he tried to point at us and tell on us. He was adorable :).

Afterward, we went to the college youth class. We got to hear about the vision of the church here and I believe that they are going in a great direction! We met several students and invited them to an event we were having after church for college students, so the team here could build relationships and get a feel for where the students were. It is an exciting time here in Nairobi because this event was the kick-off event for their ministry to students.

Today, we will visit Nairobi University to prayer walk and possibly meet students. Pray for the people here. There is so much that the Lord is doing and we can see the youth in university being a huge part of that.

I have been very blessed to see how Emily has learned so much since being here. She learned to drive a manual car in Nairobi and how to navigate the hectic traffic here. She can communicate in Swahili to people in the market. She has made a handful of Kenyan friends and they enjoy her company. She knows how to work things that don't work quite the same way in the US. She is learning a lot. You guys should be proud of her progress. She is faithfully learning these things so that she can more effectively minister to students here. Many things are different here, so keep praying for her.

Thank you all for you prayers and for taking the time to read this. Emily is in Swahili class now at a college on the compound. Pray for her to improve even more in her abilities. She just registered for this class and today is her first day studying at this place. Have a great beginning to your week!

Such Great Heights

2012-01-10T01:52:00.002-05:00

So y'all: I've made it to Kenya! I got a good (full) night's sleep (thanks Cindy for suggesting melatonin), showered, and have had a good breakfast of coffee, juice and a homemade (er... Emily made) bagel. How lovely it was to see Emily and get to talk to her on the way to her apartment. The Lord has been gracious to me on this trip. I really feel great and am ready to this day's events.

It's a wonderful thing to be able to come here knowing nothing and to get to see what Emily has been doing here and how she has learned so much about the culture. I love this girl and am looking forward to some good time here. BTW, the WEATHER IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

Emily gave me her Christmas presents! They are wonderful! I got a bookmark, earrings, a bracelet and a keychain... There will be more. I'm so excited!

I would have given her mine for her, but alas, my luggage was sent to Amsterdam and I don't get it until today, but I'm so excited to give her all of the stuff you all gave me for her. That's about all for now. I may type my adventures on the journey later. The Lord was gracious in my travels. I had a change of clothes in my carry on and Emily is my size, so I can wear her clothes if needed. I'm alright and rested. Sipping my coffee now. I hope you all are having a lovely middle of your early morning in the states :)!

Ticket to Ride

2011-11-30T12:52:00.001-05:00

Alright guys,

It's been rather eventful week! First, Monday morning I bought my plane ticket for my mission trip to Kenya in January. I will be working beside dear friend Emily McGuire in her ministry to college students and people in urban Nairobi, Kenya. She is currently serving as a Journeyman and began her two year commitment to Nairobi in July. Students will be coming back to school the week that I get there and I'm looking forward to being able to pray for them and talk to them to share the gospel. There has also been some ministry with people around where Emily and her partner Ester live. It will be great to be in a new culture again and be able to pray for people who are not like me. I'm looking forward to going. I leave January 8th-19th.

Second, I GOT ENGAGED YESTERDAY MORNING!!! I am about to marry my best friend and a very godly man at that! Here is the ring:

Now, imagine this beautiful ring as I tell you the story:

We met with our mentors yesterday morning about 8am-10am and I drove, so I was bringing him back to his apartment at about 10:20/30ish. We had been talking about our relationship and just really enjoying the the Lord's work in our lives when he asked, "I wrote you a poem, would you like to hear it?"

I replied, "Yes, I would," and with that he ran up the stairs to the back door of his apartment.

I waited in the car for a time (probably only a few minutes, but it seemed longer as I waited) and saw John return empty handed. He asked, "Hey could you come up to the back door while I read it?" We have this boundary of not being in a closed space by ourselves to avoid temptation, so I began my venture up the back wooden stairs. He had run ahead of me to get ready and was well on his way by the time I got to the stairs. The trek up these stairs was a little scary as it had rained that morning and the they appeared very slippery.

As I approached the door, John stood with his notebook open to a specific page that had a poem written on it. I stood outside the kitchen in the back of his apartment holding the screen door open while he began. I realized in that moment what was about to happen and I stood watching everything happen knowing that this was a defining moment. What that poem contained I could not tell you for I was too excited for my memory to really work.

What I do remember is the important part: He talked of the Lord, of me and of his love for me. This brought him to the conclusion of his poem in which he asked, "Will you marry me?"

To this I replied, "Yes, I will," and after a little time, "I don't know what to do next..."

We stood and looked at the ring, then prayed. We hugged, talked, looked at the ring more, looked at each other, talked more... then he said, "well you should probably get going you have a meeting to get to." To which I began to walk down those treacherous stairs at about 10:55 am Tuesday morning November 29, 2011.

Not long after beginning my descent, I turned and said, "Thanks," while raising my hand to display the ring.

He replied, "You're welcome," with an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

That's our story. It was not planned for yesterday, but it happened the way it was supposed to and in a beautiful way still. I love rain and what a great present to get on such an eventful day :)

I was late to my 11am meeting, but Emily understood for she too is engaged and we talked of our handsome godly fiances! Yep, that's right, Jonathon Patrick Wurth is no longer my boyfriend. He is my fiance and there is no one I'd rather experience this with than him.

Such a Cost

2011-10-05T16:48:00.001-04:00

So, these past few days have been QUITE emotional. So much so that I would have told you yesterday that I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. My dear friend, Emily, just left to be a missionary in Africa for the next two years. She left yesterday morning after spending time in Bowling Green for a few days and after I got to spend some sweet time with her.

It seems that many things are changing right now as people graduate, I'm in my last year of my internship at WKU and friendships appear to be transforming. I appreciate what the Lord is doing in the midst of this, but it's also good to mourn the end of one stage of life to move onto another. I'm not really in the middle of the mourning yet, but I'm beginning to feel the dread of knowing it is coming soon.

Spending time with Emily reminded me of this a lot. I was pretty sad to see such a good friend who I had shared so much with leave me, but, mostly, I was overjoyed knowing she is going to Africa. I'm so excited for her. I am scared for her, but I know that the Lord will keep her. Join me in praying for this precious child of God. She is loved by Him and is being used by Him and I want her to always remember that. In the midst of trials, I know that He will grow her and keep her. I miss her a lot and look forward to seeing her again.

This January, I have time to go see her in Kenya for a few weeks. I plan to do just that. I say plan, because, as I learned a few years ago, the Lord can frustrate your plans even the day you should be leaving... However, I am certain that I am going this time. I have been planning this since the spring, but it's been difficult to plan with very few details. I need a lot of prayer support for this. I want to know how I can best encourage Emily at this point in her term. She will be going through a lot these next few months and I want to be able to refresh her and not frustrate her in my time there.

Also, I will be able to be a part of her ministry there. I get to prayer walk, meet people and experience Kenyan culture. I'm pretty excited about this adventure. If you want to support me in prayer, you can keep up with updates here or on the Facebook event I made. Also, know how to pray specifically for Emily on her blog. I need prayer for my support too. I need to raise about $2,500-3,000 for this trip. I would like to raise enough for my plane ticket as soon as possible to know more details and to be able to get my visa. It will be a large sum of money, but I know the Lord provides. I do need some vaccinations too that my insurance will likely not be able to cover. No one wants me to come back with Rabies... right?

This brings me to another request: I would like people to partner with me financially as well. That sum of money is a large sum and my paycheck will not be able to cover it... let's be real, I work in ministry. Friends, you have been able to help me raise funds many times in the past and I greatly appreciate all of the support you have given me. If you can help in any way again this time, I would be very grateful. Know that it would not only help me, but it would be a good gift to Emily.

Thank you to anyone who reads this and partners with me. More details will come as I prepare. I love you all and let me know if there is any way that I can support you in your ministry.

Oh, Florida over the summer

We are always goofy...

...and when we aren't it seems to never work :)

Wanted her to know that I've begun to wear her clothes that she left with me :)

Feels Like Letting Go

2011-09-17T14:57:00.001-04:00

Knowing that I am responsible for this more than anyone else, I am going to attempt to describe something that I am beginning to realize that I have struggled with for sometime and been hurt by when others do the same.

Our words are vicious things. Jesus, Paul and James (and many other writers of scripture) all warn of the dangers of unwise speech and the power that our tongues possess. I'm beginning to see how powerful my words can be even the subtle ways it stabs at the person who receives them. Normally, we think of unwholesome, crude or corrupting talk as gossip, dirty jokes, rude remarks, etc. However, I'm beginning to see more to it than that. It can be a complaint that does not build up; it can be a phrase spoken with bitterness of heart; it can be truth spoken without a shred of love.

I'm very guilty of this. I was upset a few weeks ago by a simple phrase that cut deep into me and then this week, I did the very thing that had hurt me so. I did it to a further extent without regard to the potential pain it might cause the other person. It was the type of thing you say when you are upset and, yet, it's truthful. I was telling the person how I felt and confessing that I was jealous of something they had, but then, as I got more comfortable with the conversation, I began to tell her the specific lies that I was believing about her. These were lies based on my observations and the enemy's tactics to break a friendship. This hurt her and caused her much grief. It would have been easy to say, "Well, that's just how I feel," but that's not fair to her. For my emotions (feelings) can come from a sinful heart.

Pause: How cunning the enemy can be! I cannot stand that fallen angel! He desires to tear down and to keep people from growing in the Lord. He will use whatever he can to ruin what is of God and, easily, I am tempted by his schemes. He will do anything to delay the end of his world. I am learning to be proactive to guard myself against his vicious and false lies, while putting on the armor that God provides for his followers. God alone is strong enough to overcome evil, so I need to learn that above all else I need to submit evil thoughts to the Lord.

Our emotions, thoughts, creativity, etc were all created in the image of God. Created for good. God is a jealous God, but a perfectly jealous God. He's not jealous in the unhealthy way that a man might be jealous that his wife simply talks to another man, but jealous in a healthy way that a man might be jealous that his wife is becoming more intimate with other men than she is with him. God is perfectly righteous in jealousy for His people to know more of him instead of following worthless idols. However, because of the fall, our emotions and thoughts that were once good have been perverted. We grieve the loss of our idols and hurt when our sense of entitlement seems to have been crushed. This is an unhealthy and imperfect use of our image.

When we submit these emotions, thoughts, etc to God, we can then use them in light of His perfect unity. We can use them in a healthy way and to build others up in love. "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" (Ephesians 4:29). Later in Ephesians, Paul writes that instead of foolish talk or crude joking, "let there be thanksgiving." Take comfort that God is in control even when we hurt from the actions of others (whether they know it or not). Be comforted by the truths of the character of God. Paul says when talking to people who don't know the Lord: "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person" (Colossians 4:6). I don't think this ends with people who don't understand the gospel, for we all can spare some room to be more gracious.

Paul exhorts in Colossians to put to death all that is earthly within the people of the church, then later specifically calls out specific sins: "But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth" (Colossians 3:8). I don't know if this was his intention, but it appears that the first sin listed, anger, seems to often cause the rest. I know that the speech of my mouth toward my friend this week was caused by anger that I allowed to envelope me as I felt mistreated. How easily I forget to clothe myself with Christ and forgive as the Lord forgave me letting the peace of Christ rule in my heart for we are all one body. Speaking the word of Christ with emotions submitted to Him is greater and more encouraging and community building than speech fueled by emotions that are perverted by sin. "For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45).

I need to learn to go to the Lord for peace and joy and be reminded of how He values me! He chose me; I'm not an afterthought or second place. I'm not chosen last, but I'm a precious daughter of God. He sent His son to die for me. Wow, how I forsake this when I worry about other things and allow my emotions to be succumbed to them. I'm praying for the heart of God toward people I encounter and learning what it looks like to love others.

I See a Generation Rising Up To Take Their Place

2011-09-17T11:44:00.001-04:00

Why not Bowling Green?: http://christfellowshipbg.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/why-not-bowling-green/

Check it out! Let's be praying for genuine revival here! Lord, please do a mighty work that can only be attributed to you here. Allow us to be your vessels to proclaim your name.

Savior King

2011-08-28T00:08:00.001-04:00

It's been a while between blog posts, of course. I've never been very regular with journals or blogs. I do enjoy writing them, but I always feel like I have other things that I need to do, so I end up pushing it to the end of my list of "to-do's." I will be attempting to update this more regularly, though.

So much has happened since my last post. I had a great and very difficult summer of camp. I got to see several students either return to Christ or begin to follow Him. I was so blessed by this time and I really saw the Lord using me. It's always encouraging to see the Lord working as you just take steps in faith. At times when I least expected to be ministering to a student, ministry just happened. One time, we just got out of worship and I had planned (haha... my plans...) to lead my church group to their room, pray for them and encourage them like we do every night. The Lord completely changed that plan.

Right after worship, there was a student who had all of these questions and one of the adults in his group was having a hard time answering them. I don't know what happened or how, but the Lord used me to speak truth to this student. This student had been heavily influenced by another faith and was trying to somehow figure out what he believed. He would not back down from a question until he got an answer that he was satisfied with. By satisfied, I mean that he felt like the answer made sense. I think the Spirit was working on his heart. We ended our conversation after an hour and I asked, "Can I pray for you?" He said, "Yeah, no one has ever prayed for me before." I was heart-broken. I wanted so much for this student to know Christ and to know the freedom of being a slave to Him (this may seem like an oxymoron, but His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. He is a perfect master). I found out the next morning that Christ had done a work in this student's life and that he was now following the Lord. PRAISE THE LORD! There is so much more background information about this student, but that's his story to share now and I hope he is proclaiming it!

Stories like these made the summer worth it. I have several more to share, but I'll save those for conversation pieces. I had a difficult summer overall, but a very blessed one still. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for camp, but I know that the Lord is doing some great things through it. If a fellow Christ-follower is thinking about serving at a camp, I recommend the experience to them. Be willing to allow the Lord to work through you and be ready for every opportunity. Who knows, camp might be something you want to do with your life.

Something else happened at camp this summer too. I got a boyfriend. Not just a boy who is a friend, for he was already that, but a boyfriend. He is a godly man who desires to know the Lord more. I admire his desire to make Christ known to others and to be pure in his faith. He was a good prayer partner for my last two weeks of camp and I saw the Lord answer his prayers for my students. The story above about one of my students is an example of such prayers being answered. I like him a lot and that's all I'll say for now.

As you can tell this was a very blessed summer and I learned a lot. I learned about reliance on the Lord in every moment. When we are sleep-deprived, hungry, sick, weak and ready for alone time, the Lord will still use us. We may not realize it in that moment, but it's interesting to see the Lord work His power through our weaknesses. I'm human, I cannot do it all, but the Lord empowers me and makes me His vessel to carryout His plans.

School begins this week. Probably another opportunity to learn something new about the Lord and about myself. I constantly find myself feeling like I know less and less about the Lord than I ever thought before. Does this make sense? As I learn more about the Lord, His infinite nature becomes more apparent. This may be one of those things that's better explained in person, so I wont waste the space confusing anyone who reads this. Good night!

Like A Lion

2011-07-01T23:23:00.001-04:00

Camp week 4 has just come to a close. 3 remaining weeks of camp before my summer here in Williamsburg is over. I had a great week with my campers. Actually, I didn't really think that much happened this week until this morning. As one student put it, "This is the least boring bible study I have been a part of." That may not seem like a compliment, but as he explained how much he had learned and even went so far as to use that confusing word, amazing, to describe it, I realized that the Lord was working and the Holy Spirit had spoken through me. It was not me, the bible study curriculum or my enthusiasm that changed anyone. It was the Word of God and the Holy Spirit moving and it was, in a word, Amazing. There with a few decisions made by students in my track group and several told me that they had learned a lot. I felt weak, but strengthened by God. Does this make sense? If not, ask and I would love to talk about this week! :) However, something I want to focus on is a little different in topic but similar. Revival.

Many might have already heard me talking about this over the past year, but the word revival keeps coming to my mind. This may not be the type of revival that comes to mind for most. It's not a planned event with a powerful speaker and concluding with many responses of faith. I'm talking about a GREAT (by great I mean "powerful," not just a synonym for good) act of God to powerfully draw people to himself. He does it everyday as He is constantly bringing people to himself and doing the impossible by giving them life. This rebirth in people's lives and dying to self to live for Christ is what I mean by revival.

I have found, somewhere within me, a yearning to see many come to Christ wherever I go. I don't know if this necessarily means anything, but God is doing a work within me and refining me. This would not have been a desire of mine a few years ago. God is growing my heart for others and breaking my heart for them. On top of that, I keep hearing the word "revival" everywhere. I find God prompting me to pray for people I don't even know. I love people I haven't even met. I don't understand this. I find myself being too proud to share this with people. Wouldn't others think I'm a freak if I tell them that I want to be their friend and that I find them precious before I even meet them? Why do I even care what other's think of me?

I find myself, also, desiring huge things to happen, but not believing they will happen. Oh Lord, help my unbelief. Show me that You can do the unimaginable and the unbelievable. I want to see the whole WKU campus hear the gospel. I want all of Williamsburg, KY to know of Your love for them. I want everyone in the World to hear the Truth about. I want to see many come to know the Lord. Even if my prayers for this only conclude with one person coming to know the Lord, I will rejoice with the angels over that one person. However, I want to believe that the entire WKU campus can come to know the Lord and all of Williamsburg can be affected by the Lord's work through His people here. I will be content with whatever the Lord does. Even if He doesn't answer my prayers the way I want Him to, I pray that I will be humble enough to allow the Lord to strengthen me through it.

As I desire these things to happen, there is also this battle being waged within me. My self is afraid of not seeing anything come from my prayers. I become self-conscious of what others think of me. I find my emotions being played with. One day I feel like nothing can stop the passion welling up inside of me for revival and the next, I question if it's even possible. I, sometimes, feel very alone in my desire to see many come to the Lord. Is this common? I'm reminded of William Wilberforce fighting to abolish slavery even when his closest supporters want to give up. Not exactly the same thing, but I don't want to back down from praying and fighting for something that the Lord is doing. I'm praying for the Lord's guidance in this.

This may be a messed up jumble of my thoughts on this topic and no one else may understand what I'm saying, but I'm confessing some of my struggles in this sweet time of refining and growing desire to see revival. What would it look like if we all prayed with belief that the Lord brings revival to WKU, Bowling Green, Kentucky and the entire USA? Anyone else amazed and humbled by the story of awakening in 1700's Britain? Read the stories of godly men (John Wesley, William Wilberforce, John Newton...) affected by revival in England. These men devoted their lives to the work of God.

I'm realizing my inability to do anything without God and the power of God to do anything! He will do what He plans to do. I'm merely a vessel used to carry out His purposes. I receive joy from His work and I pray that no matter what happens that I will be content in that and be reminded of His glory. I may need to read Habakkuk to be reminded to "Watch and be amazed for [He] is doing a work in my days that I would not even believe if told." I may not see such a revival in my lifetime. It may happen tomorrow, next year, in ten years or after I pass away. Who knows, I may have been placed where I am for "Such a time as this" (Esther 4:14, Mordecai's encouragement to Esther), and "If I perish, I perish" (Esther's response to her uncle's wise advice). Even if the Lord's plan is for me only to encourage another believer to seek the Lord's heart for others, then I will be content. Lord, show me how to love like you have loved me and show me how to step out in faith where I am.

Young Folks

2011-06-19T22:22:00.000-04:00

Week 2 at camp finished on Friday as well as my first week leading a track group! Exciting stuff happened and I'm not sure I can type it all here, but I can do my darnedest!

I have three different sites here. They are Cedaridge, Friends for Families and Emergency Christian Ministry. Each has similar ministries within it, but each is also very different from the rest. They all serve the community in several ways (food pantry, clothing closet, hygeine items, etc). Cedaridge is like a thrift store that uses whatever resources it has to aid families in hard situations. Friends for Families is a warehouse that houses furniture, clothing, food and other resources for families in need. Emergency Christian Ministry has several apartments for people who are homeless due to a number of circumstances.

I love each of my sites for various and, each for, very different reasons. The one thing I challenged my students with this week was to learn someone's story and learn where they came from. Many of us have prejudices about people we first meet and I wanted students to begin to break down these notions about people who are different than them. My group this week definitely stepped up to the challenge and they were excited about it. Many of them were coming to tell me what they learned each day. Pretty cool stuff.

Most of the week, I was busy running back and forth between smaller groups divided out of my 32 participants and didn't get much time to talk to students on site. On Thursday, our last full day of camp and our last on site, I saw one of my students sitting by herself because the clothing closet was making her feel, in her words: claustrophobic. I decided to sit with her and talk for a bit. I soon realized that this precious girl had a lot more in common with me than I initially thought. We both allowed ourselves at one point or another to become very angry and hardened from family situations. She is in the midst of dealing with this and I still deal with it in little bouts from time to time. As I described what I felt like in my anger (physically- burning in the back of the throat from suppressing crying for days and back tension/soreness) as a preteen dealing with this anger, her countenance expressed familiarity with these ailments.

We talked for a bit and I knew that something was melting this precious girl from within. Only God could have been working in her at this time. God was using my story to break down barriers in this girl that I know from experience are incredibly huge, unclimbable walls. The next day, I was sitting in my bible study room, waiting for students to arrive, when another girl from her church urged her to share something that happened on site the day before. Turns out that the girl I had been talking to had shared Christ with a woman at the shelter after our talk. The woman at the shelter accepted Christ! Praise the Lord! The girl handed me a note after bible study that brought me to tears. She wrote that the talk we had earlier that day had motivated her to share Christ with this woman and that it helped her to see that people need a second chance (we had talked about this somewhat when discussing our families in our conversation).

I was to the point of tears upon reading her sweet, kind words to me. They may have even been too kind. She described me with words that were exaggerations of my real character, but they weren't exaggerations of God's character. It was God working through me that caused all of these events to happen on site, not my own work. I could not have orchestrated such a series of events. You see, this girl's youth minister had been in my track group and he had been talking to this woman all day. He learned her story and ministered to her. This was happening while I was talking to the girl and sharing my story with her. As walls were coming down, hearts were being healed and God was doing something bigger than us all. Praise the Lord for His sovereignty in placing everyone of us exactly where we needed to be that day!

I wish that I could keep contact with this girl, but I can't. It's camp policy. However, I know that the Lord, in His sovereignty, will grow her and strengthen her. Pray with me for this girl to grow and continue to desire to share Christ with the people all around her. Pray she will continue to develop a genuine love for the people all around her.

Prayer requests:

the girl from camp and all of my track group students to continue to grow as they go home.

pray for genuine faith in the woman this girl shared Christ with on site. I will get to visit this site each week, so I hope to be able to see the Lord work in this woman's life this summer.

I need rest in general. I got some this weekend of course, but I feel myself dragging each week as Thursday runs around. We get up early and run until it's late. It's very difficult, but the Lord will sustain me. Pray for me to rest in the Lord and remain in His word each day.
Pray for our team. It's several weeks into the summer and tension can flare with teams of people who are always around each other. Pray for godly humility and patience between us as teammates. Pray for the unity among believers that Paul constantly writes about in his epistles.

All Shall Be Well

2011-06-12T21:58:00.002-04:00

So, I am working at MFuge at the University of the Cumberlands this summer and we are about to commence our second week of camp. However, this will be my first week with campers! I'm pretty excited about it, but a little nervous. Pray for me to rely on the Lord and His Truth as I am afraid of getting too tired to function well. Also, I am a little bit intimidated by the fact that I might not connect well with students. I know that so long as I follow the Lord and point students to Christ, He will take care of this, but it's a tiny fear the has crept into my thoughts every now and then.

In other news, I HAVE FINISHED MY CARTOON CHARACTER COSTUME for our theme night! I decided to be Gadget from Rescue Rangers!

This is the part where I wish I had a craft blog, because I love making things, but I don't make crafts enough to maintain a blog about them. I have not taken a picture with it on me yet, but you can see what it looks like sitting on my bed:

I made the sash out of fabric, velcro and iron on hemming stuff. I found it all at Walmart and it was cheap! ... and the goggles are just child swimming goggles... I'm not going to worry about it much :) ...and the clothes are just a button-up shirt and some scrub pants that very nearly match in color. After I made this, I even began a craft pile for myself, since I left all of my supplies at home, I had to buy new stuff and set it all together... I have a feeling it will only get bigger this summer:

One of the other staffers, Hannah, said we needed to craft some hair accessories this summer... I'm thinking this is a must and I'm looking forward to it.

One thing that I have appreciated a lot since being here is the community that I have made here. I really appreciate the girls in my family group a lot. They really desire to spur each other on and be real with each other. I am grateful for them :) Also, I love being able to watch people fall in love with their ministry sites. I'm looking forward to going to mine this week and feeling the same loving attachment to each of my sites! Pray for this for me as well! I want to genuinely love the people of this community in Williamsburg, KY. Well, I need to read some material for me to teach my track group tomorrow! Good night!

Move Forward

2011-05-28T22:46:00.000-04:00

Ok, so this is a blog that I have been thinking about for some time. It's still kind of an incomplete thought, but I really want to get this out there: Have you ever had something you trust fail to be as trustworthy as it was intended to be?

Back in August, I was driving to Hobby Lobby when the unexpected happened. I was pressing on the brakes to slow down at a red light when the pedal pressed all too easily to the floor for my comfort. I tried to hit it again. The car did not slow down. I ended up on the other side of the intersection safe and sound, but it was terrifying. I trusted that the brakes would slow my car down; they did not hold up their end of the bargain. Every time that I needed to stop my car after this, my thoughts were no longer that pushing on my brake pedal would stop my car. Now, my thoughts were that pushing the pedal might not work again.

Initially, I learned not to trust the brakes of any car from this. I did, eventually, get to the point where I could at least trust other cars. However, it took me a very long time to rely on the ability of my brakes to stop the mini-van. I would let up on the gas early so that I would be less likely to step on the brake and if someone slammed on their brakes in front of me, my heart would stop until my car came to a halt. Eventually, you learn to cope with this fear or become numb to it until your car fails you again. No matter how much I try, though, something in my world has changed. I still don't fully trust my car's brakes. I freaked out the other day while someone else was driving it for Heaven's sake.

This type of situation reminds me of that feeling you get after spinning in circles for a while. You are dizzy until your body becomes discombobulated. You may begin to feel the need to fall, but, before you get the chance to fall to the ground, it looks like the ground is coming to you. The ground strikes you and you no longer fully trust it for a time. It is still spinning. Now, your world is a little different than it was before. What you thought was true before has now changed since the ground beneath you can move toward you the way that it does.

This can apply to they way anyone might view many things: family situations, relationships, school, jobs... I just thought about my brakes as a simple, yet, interesting way to talk about this kind of trust. If you have a family that has been torn by divorce, you might not trust people to get close to you out of fear of them leaving you. If you have been in an abusive relationship, you may not trust that you are worth being treated with respect. If you have had a professor/teacher who expects you to fail, you might begin to meet their expectations. No matter what it is, there is no shame in the scar it leaves behind. However, those scars should not define us.

I'm learning to move past these things that hinder us and let's take our mini-vans on a road trip. We can learn to trust in the Lord who works all things out for our good. The Lord will provide for us and, if we don't take steps out in faith, then we are denying ourselves the chance to receive joy from doing the Lord's work. If we begin to put ourselves in situations to be somewhat vulnerable, we might be surprised by what we find. We might have the opportunity to help a teenager dealing with divorced parents or counseling a girl who desires to end or is confused about a poor relationship. Let's help Christ be exalted by becoming His body to go out to the World. Even though we live in a fallen world, I am learning to get past things that have taught me not to trust. My world has been changed by several events and, time and time again, the Lord has provided healing.

Gotta Figure This Out

2011-05-21T21:25:00.002-04:00

I want to dedicate my 20th post to the one and only, Emily Mcguire. This beautiful, godly woman has been a real encouragement to me this year as I underwent several changes this year after graduation and, now, she is getting ready to have the same type of change, only hers is on a bigger scale.

This girl just graduated and is moving to Africa for the next two years as a missionary. She leaves in October and she will be greatly missed while she is away. However, we do have a reason to rejoice as she is going to be serving the Lord and His children. I have been amazed at her transformation this year. The Lord is doing some pretty cool things in this girl's life.

Now, I want to call you guys to join me in doing something for her before she leaves. This may be a long shot... but Emily loves the Reds and I would love to see her get the opportunity to meet some of her favorite players before she leaves! Ahem... Brandon Phillips and Joey Votto... She wont be able to go to a game (let alone watch one) while she is gone. What if they go to the World Series this year?! YIKES! So far, I have been trying to appeal to Brandon Phillips and the Reds through their Twitter accounts (click on the links to find their pages).

It's funny, later in the day that I began to tweet at Brandon Phillips I read this sweet article about how he read a fan's tweet that mentioned him in it. The fan had forgotten to get refreshments for his son's little league baseball game and was suggesting that Brandon come by the game. Phillips, who had been nearby, picked up some things and then arrived at the game.

What a well-timed story, considering the fact that I had just thought of the request for Emily. So, we know that Mr. Phillips at least pays attention to his account. In fact, he is pretty active on his twitter account. If you guys want to join me in asking this from the Reds in any way you can so that Emily can have an opportunity to meet some the players from her favorite ball team, then I would much appreciate it. I REALLY want to see this happen for her.

If I haven't convinced you yet, I am a STL Cardinals fan. This may dissuade any Reds from reading any further, but I SO want her to get this that I'm willing to put aside any differences to make this happen for her. Thank you for reading this!

Sweet Emotion

2011-05-17T12:01:00.000-04:00

So, I've been in this weird limbo state of emotions recently. I can only really say that I remember having felt like this two times before. Once at the end of 1:8 and the other about a year ago when I finished my final exams. Now, I am feeling it again because I am saddened by the end of another season of life to begin another exciting segment of an adventure.

In the previous situations where I felt this way, I was leaving a community I loved and had been drawn near to. I even joked after 1:8 that it was a cruel joke that that KBC plays on students to bring them to live in loving, intentional community and then rip them apart after 2 months. This, of course, is a joke, but it is true that when we learn to genuinely love a community, it hurts to have it change. This time, a few people are leaving my community to pursue the next stage of their life and I'm kind of suspended in an ocean separating my time with them from truly mourning their leaving.

As a person who cries often, I want to cry to mourn the end of this stage, but I cannot muster the tears. In fact, I feel ridiculous as everyone else is crying and I really just cannot do it. I'm, honestly, struggling not to feel shame for it. This has happened before. I will feel this way until all is said and done, then, when my mind has the time to savor the feelings inside of me, I will have a good cry. I wonder if I've been guarded with my emotions for so long, that I'd rather not allow them see me cry -or- if I just don't want to believe it's happening -or- if I'm just getting so used to change that it has less of an impact on me. Honestly, I could not tell you if either of those is true.

What I do know is this, I'm going to mourn the end of this stage, but rejoice in the new stage. A dear friend told me last year that it's ok to mourn one stage of life, but not to allow it to define you. She encouraged me to rejoice in what the Lord's going to do next! This new stage of life will be another leg of the adventure. I'm excited to hear about the Lord's work in Bowling Green, Kentucky, Texas and Africa. OH MY! do I want to read through Acts right now! As I am watching my friend, Emily, get ready to leave for Africa this summer, I'm reminded of Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch. It's not exactly the same, but an angel of the Lord told him to go and basically leave a revival happening in Jerusalem. So Philip is leaving this community where the Lord is obviously working and where he is seeing fruit from the righteous work of God in the saints in Jerusalem in order to go to Gaza. Next thing we know, the spirit is prompting him to speak to an Ethiopian Eunuch about Christ through Isaiah's teachings! How cool it is to see the Lord's perfect timing.

I can see the Lord doing something powerful through Emily and I'm so grateful to have been a part of her life this year and look forward to continuing our friendship though an ocean and half of two continents separate us. I'm already rejoicing in the exciting things the Lord is going to do in her. The Lord may not do the most obvious things through her, but I'm praying that she sees fruit from her work. She may be able to pour into one girl's life for the next two years or she may see revival break out in Africa. Either way, the angels will rejoice in heaven with us over any who come to know the Lord!

Prayer Requests:

Pray for Emily as she prepares to leave her community and go to another community. She is going to undergo many changes. Pray for her as (and our friend put this beautifully the other day) she becomes even more "the Emily the Lord intends her to be" while the Lord refines her.
Pray for me and my summer as camp is approaching and I'm reading through the bible study. I'm going to be a book worm these next few weeks, so pray for the Lord to teach me and refine me even now. Sweet fire that burns away the impurity!
Pray for other friends who are beginning a new stage in each of their lives. It's a difficult process, but pray that the Lord will turn their mourning at the end of one stage into rejoicing in the work of the Lord at the beginning of another.

Baptize My Mind

2011-04-25T17:02:00.001-04:00

A few years ago, I remember feeling frustrated, tired, angry, upset... just plain worn out. I did not understand this feeling. I was getting enough sleep, no one had done anything in particular to upset me and I was having a pretty good day. I was dwelling on small things that were going wrong at that time. I went to the BCM and unloaded all of these feeling on to one of the leaders at our campus ministry. His response was simply this: "How has your time in the Word been?"

I was silent. I could think of no response other than, "ya know... not so good." I was not attempting to meet with the Lord regularly, but, at the time, I did not equate that with my frustrations. However, over time, with the direction and prayer of several beautiful godly women, I began to realize the importance of such a time with the Lord. I have been given such grace to be able to hold the Word of God and have the opportunity to get guidance from God by reading it.

This week, I admit, I have not had the best times with the Lord. It's my fault for getting distracted and not fighting to have that time. As the week progressed, I noticed that I was getting frustrated and upset over small things. I meet once a week with a beautiful young lady for accountability and to study the Word. As we studied Esther this morning I was reminded about the subtle nature of the enemy. For a book that does not mention God, God's work against the enemy is woven throughout.

Then, I was in my discipleship group today where we are studying Ephesians. Paul's warnings about the schemes of the enemy are very apparent. Paul writes, "and give no opportunity to the devil," in the midst of talking about anger (Ephesians 4:27). He later instructs his readers to "put on the whole armor of God that you might be able to stand against the schemes of the devil" (Ephesians 6:11). This includes the belt of truth, feet sandalled with gospel readiness, the breastplate of righteousness and the sword "which is the word of God." The Word instructs us how to wear this armor and how to stand against the temptations of the enemy.

How easily does the enemy try to use my fleshy desires, my pride, my bitterness, my anger, my sense of entitlement... etc against me. I get distracted by these things and frustrated only to realize later that I feel far from the Lord. However, by being in the Word, the Lord encourages me with truth and I am filling up my mind with the things of the Lord. The overflow of my heart is then the Word and my lips are seasoned with salt. I am less likely to overreact to silly annoyances and people who make life difficult (intentionally or not) for me. The Lord makes me clean by His Word (John 17:17, 15:3, Ephesians 5:26).

Now, before you get bogged down thinking about how much you have to do and how you cannot fit the time in to read the Word, consider this:

The law of the LORD is perfect,
        reviving the soul;
    the testimony of the LORD is sure,
        making wise the simple;
    the precepts of the LORD are right,
        rejoicing the heart;
    the commandment of the LORD is pure,
        enlightening the eyes;
    the fear of the LORD is clean,
        enduring forever;
    the rules of the LORD are true,
        and righteous altogether.
    More to be desired are they than gold,
        even much fine gold;
    sweeter also than honey
        and drippings of the honeycomb.
(Psalm 19:7-10 ESV)

Now, I love honey and I ran out a few months back. I have been craving it ever since. Also, I fasted from food for a period of time not too long ago. During that time, I realized how much I really hungered for food and how my stomach ached to be filled again with nourishment. Join me in praying for that same type of hunger for the Word. I want to pray for a hunger that simply will not be filled by anything else other than time with the Lord. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied" (Matthew 5:6 ESV). Lord, please cultivate this type of craving in me.

All You Need Is Love?

2010-12-21T12:58:00.015-05:00

The song title is appealing and seems so simple, but what does "All you need is love" really mean? I know this is a topic that I feel is constantly on my mind as I fail to truly love people each day. I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this, so I am going to go ahead and post this blog. Loving your neighbor requires more than just letting everyone else do their thing while I do mine. It's doing life together. It's messy. Many times, it requires honesty that looks beyond false encouragement and empty words.

How to love people is something that I have had the opportunity to look at with a few friends of mine recently. How does one truly love the people all around them? We all step on each other's toes from time to time and we all feel hurt from people even when they don't intend to hurt anyone. How do we love the people that hurt us whether they wanted to harm us or not?

Christ is the perfect example of loving people beyond the extent of their love for him. He was a man and he was God; he suffered trials and temptations like we do, yet, he lived a holy and blameless life. He still chose to love us by doing nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility he counted others more significant than himself. he looked not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:3-8). The cross was a painful, humiliating, gruesome death meant for criminals. The very ones Jesus came to save crucified him:

"Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all." -Isaiah 53:4-6

"For our sake [God] made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21). How humbling is it to know that we are not perfect and the only one who lived a life without sin, took our place in death? Yet death could not contain him! He rose again proving that he was life and the giver of life. "For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life" (Romans 5:10). GOOD NEWS!

So what is it that keeps me from loving others when they appear to be my enemies? Everyone has many expectations and these include our expectation to be treated with a form of respect. I feel entitled to or feel that I deserve to be treated a certain way. Many of these expectations seem reasonable (even biblical) of the other person and a few are ingrained in me by family or cultural values, but all of them are expectations of imperfect people to treat another imperfect person by a certain standard.

What's worse is that it is easy to feel no need to love/forgive people who do not treat us well by this set of standards unless they somehow make themselves right by asking forgiveness. What causes me to be this way? Well, as usual, pride gets in the way of the desire to be more like Christ so it's easy to feel justified in anger. Yet, followers of Christ are held to a higher standard and have the opportunity to be refined by these types of situations. When I give in to the temptation to be bitter and angry toward a fellow Christ-follower, I am allowing disunity to enter into the body of Christ. When I do that same to a non-believer, I am denying them the opportunity the see/hear the gospel and myself the opportunity to share it with them.

When I refuse to forgive someone, I am also forgetting that I, too, need grace daily because I am not perfect; I sin against a holy God and his people regularly. I mess up. I cannot cast the first stone; I am not without sin. It is important to be reminded that I am a sinner and of what Christ did on the cross. I was dead in my trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1). Without the cross, I would have no hope in this world.

We, also, have the opportunity to become more like Christ when we choose to love those who do not treat us well. "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4, emphasis mine). This does not mean that we do not share truth with these people, but it does mean that we do not react from hatred and bitterness. We have the opportunity to help a fellow Christ follower to grow or the opportunity to show compassion on the person who does not know Christ. God may even allow these things to happen to us "so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:7).

Christ warns about anyone who is angry toward their brother: "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire" (Matthew 5:22). Jesus even likens holding onto this anger toward a brother as being the same as murdering that brother. Christ recognizes that it is not always possible to be at peace with everyone even when we try, but he gives direction for that:

"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight
of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved,
never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written,
“Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy
is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing
you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but
overcome evil with good."
Romans 12:17-21

I have been reminded a lot recently of my need to let go of my own expectations and to choose to see people as Christ would see them. Not that I should not confront them with truth, but that I should keep my mind pure by not allowing myself to be affected by the anger and bitterness that can easily arise when I am not treated well. Christ's love for me should be example enough, but sometimes I need a slap in the face from God in order to really see that this feeling of being justified in my anger harms my relationships with God and his people. My challenge to every Christ-follower who reads this is to: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you" Ephesians 4:31-32.

The Lord's Provision, part trois...

2010-03-20T17:11:00.003-04:00

ok, so I fought the urge to make a different title for this post, but I felt that it was still related to the previous two. I just got back from my spring break mission trip. I spent the week with some pretty cool people who I normally don't hang out with and served the Lord in ways I could not have imagined. I traveled far and long to other regions and grew to know the Lord all the more as each day unfolded. The Lord met me there. No, this was not in Haiti as I was so sure it would be a few months ago.

Again, the Lord showed me that my plans are not important. This spring break I went on GPS, and just like my experience at Passion after my trip to the DR was canceled, the Lord blessed me with time to spend with him. It is difficult to give up control of your life, but it's so relaxing when you finally give Him control. In a way, I want control of each area of my life and I want to do what I think is right for me. However, the Lord knows exactly what I need and He knows how to guide me in my life. It is so restful to know that the Lord is sovereign and will take me where He wants me to if only I'd let Him.

GPS, for anyone who doesn't know, was a trip where, basically, no one knew what we were doing each day. Each day, we were given coordinates to a destination, we arrived, had time for worship/fellowship, slept, woke up, served in a ministry in the area, help churches do "Find it here", and then repeated the same cycle. Needless to say, there was nothing we could do to really control the days events. We were basically told as little as possible. However, how cool and relaxing is it to just go with the flow and allow the Lord to do what He will in that day?

Matthew 6:33-34 says, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I may have quoted this in my last post, but seriously, how great is this! If you read all of Matthew 6:25-34, it gets even better! I pray that as the semester and as time progresses, that I will learn more about seeking first his kingdom and his righteousness.

I noticed this week that sometimes I don't count on the power of God to work in the small things when He obviously can use small things in a great way. It's funny how I tend to underestimate the power of God even though I have witnessed it first hand in my life. I mean, just look at the 5 loaves of bread and the two fish that fed so many people and, also, look at the people God chose to use for His glory throughout scripture. They are nothing, I am nothing, without God. I hope that you will join me in praying for my unbelief and for my desire to control every aspect of my life.

The Lord's Provision, part deux!

2010-01-26T21:02:00.005-05:00

ok so, if you don't know yet, then I'm just going to begin here with how my trip to the DR (If you already know this, then drop down to the * to skip the long story that I am likely to type):

alright, so I wrote a blog back in December about the Lord's provision, how He completely took care of me in my time of need, and granted me the opportunity to serve Him over winter break by going to the Dominican Republic. I drove down to Louisville fearful of the snow on December 27th thinking that I was going to be in warm weather in a little over a day. I was truly looking forward to it and I was as prepared as I could make myself for the journey ahead. I got home, checked my bags, and began to settle in for a night in my cool apartment.

I had no idea that the Lord's plans were different from mine. I fully believe that what happened the next day happened for a reason; I was meant to prepare for the trip to the Dominican, but I was also not meant to actually go. Due to a reason beyond my control, the trip got canceled the morning I was going to leave for the Dominican. I was upset and I'm not gonna lie, I cried (ok, what's new... I cry all of the time (: ). I really didn't know how to react, but I also knew that there was nothing that anyone could do to change the situation. I believe that things like this happen for a reason. I was comforted by the Word and knew that God was in control.

*It has been quite a few weeks since the trip was canceled and I think it is now safe to post this blog. Like I said before, I was not meant to go on that trip and God had different plans for me and my winter break. I spent a lot of time with friends and I ended up going to Passion 2010 where I learned a lot about the glory of God. I was humbled and would love to talk about it with anyone who is interested.

Now, I'm gonna take some time to write about my plans for spring break. The cancellation of the trip in December has actually opened the door for me to go to Haiti in March. I was originally going to just push my trip to the summer, but I decided otherwise once I heard about the earthquake that hit Haiti a few weeks ago. Almost immediately, I wanted to go. I went to EDGE the next day to talk about the possibility of going. Soon after, there were several people wanting to go to Haiti, which is great! They were willing to serve a people group that needed help.

We teamed up with UK's BCM since they have a break the same week and they had a passion to go. Each school was given 5 spots for people to go. If you want to pray for the team, the five from UofL who are going are: Philip Smith, Jeremy Viola, Chris Swift, Kayla Rains, and me. We are all excited about serving the Lord and serving the Haitian people over break. We are beginning to pray and prepare for this trip. We will be working with water purifiers in some way. We might be installing them in Haiti or putting together parts in the Dominican, but whatever we do, we want to glorify the Lord in all that we do while we are there.

If you decide you want to help, we would like for anyone who sees this to pray for our trip. Also, there is a lot that we need in order to go to Haiti. We need money to fund the trip and possibly supplies. If anyone can help that would be appreciated. We have about a month and a half, so whatever anyone can do will be appreciated!

Thank you so much and I will keep posting updates about what is going on.

Audrey

"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." -Matthew 6:31-34

How I made a Christmas Sweater

2009-12-25T17:45:00.020-05:00

So, if you are like me, you might have gotten a few invites to ugly Christmas sweater parties, but your family doesn't have a tradition of wearing these sweaters for Christmas. I know, I could go to a thrift store, but they are at least a 30 minute drive away from my house. So, trying to be thrifty, I decided to make one. With the inspiration of a friend's twitter post and several online images, I was able to design my own. I decided to make mine cute instead of ugly because I usually don't have these sweaters :). I've been looking at a lot of craft and recipe blogs recently, so I figured, "why not write one myself?"

1.) I sketched out a design. I love Snowmen, so I googled "Snowman" and Christmas sweaters in order to get an idea for my design. I began by sketching this snowman:

and it turned into this:

2.)I went to walmart, and got me a $6 sweatshirt (I could not find a green or red one):

3.)I came home and raided all of my mom's fabric, buttons, decals, thread, etc.:

4.) and I began to cut out the basic shapes of the design (I found round objects to trace the circles and sketched the other shapes in pencil onto the fabric to cut) and laying them out on the shirt:

5.) I, then, ironed this stuff called Wonder Under to the fabric in order to turn the pieces of fabric into appliqués and then I trimmed the edges to perfect it.

6.) Then, I ironed on the fabric and added more detail:

a.) I wanted to make the shirt as 3D as possible to make it at least a little tacky.
b.) I knitted two scarves, used fleece for another, and sewed the last one. I sewed all of these onto the shirt near the neck of each snowman (I actually didn't sew them down until after I did step number 7)
c.) I found the stars near my mom's buttons in the basement and decided to hotglue them to the shirt.
d.) I used Wonder Under yet again to put the hats and noses on (after this picture,I accidently dropped the middle nose into the trash and everytime I tried to pick it up, it fell further into the abyss ): ).

7.) I puffy painted the faces, buttons, and arms (the bottle said let dry four hours, so I let it dry overnight):

8.) now, I have my first Christmas sweater! Made by yours truly!

Even the dog is in the spirit:

There you have it! When I was trying to come up with ideas for this sweater, I wished that I had more examples to look at, so I posted this for anyone who wants to look at it. Enjoy!

The Lord's Provision!

2009-12-19T23:16:00.004-05:00

I have been getting ready for a trip to go to the Dominican Republic for about oh... 4 weeks now. When I first started fundraising, I was thinking, "This is possible. Difficult, but possible." I kept thinking about how "if" God wants me to go on this trip, then He will provide. No worries, right?! Ok maybe you caught that "if."

I have problems relying on the Lord for His provision. There, I said it. I am a sinner. I worry.... A LOT. I mean, really, a lot! I feel like throwing-up just thinking about my measly little $3,000 or so in student loans that I have. Each day following my commitment to the trip, I was trying to keep my cool while, on the inside, I felt my organs flipping and turning themselves into knots. The thought of what the Lord was going to do through me on the trip would keep me content for a time, but then I would think about the sum of money that it would require for me to go.

I knew this trip was what the Lord was guiding me to, but I was also reminded of the fact that I barely raised $1800 last summer in about 5 or 6 months. I had to raise that same amount of money for this trip, and I only had a little more than a month to get ready for it. "Impossible," I thought. I'm sure the Lord chuckled, because the Lord knew what was about to happen to me.

As I felt pressure because the impossible (according to my feeble mind) needed to happen. I was sitting in my apartment. Sitting, because I was feeling dizzy from the stress of school, work and finances. I told you, I worry... a lot. I was thinking about how impossible (there's that word again) it would be for me to raise the $750 I needed in two days for my second (of 3) payment on the trip. How was I even going to pay the next $750 if I didn't even have the money for this first one? I know I'm putting a lot of numbers in here, but stay with me. These were the thoughts going through my head.

I looked into my bank account and I had $492. Great... so I looked in my wallet to check how much money people had given me for support. I was doing this slowly, so that I wouldn't freak out. As I pulled out the money, I was a little surprised by the amount I pulled out. As I counted the money I was relaxing, little by little. I finish counting and started to cry. Yes... I'm a baby, but I was relieved and overwhelmed by the spirit. I had counted $260, and most of that amount was given to me earlier that day. ok, here's the math for those who weren't counting: 492+260=752. When I thought it was impossible, the Lord was probably laughing and decided that I needed a lesson. I had no other choice, but to praise the Lord for 2 extra dollars and giving it to me two days before my deadline! The Lord couldn't have been any more perfect in His timing. I was compelled to praise Him because the impossible had just happened.

You may be thinking, "ok, yeah, it's hard to do, but how is that the Lord's doing?" Let me tell you some more. two girls who I met doing summer missions both contributed to the cause. Both of them are Christians, neither of them know each other, and I met them two years apart. These girls contributed to my trip more than most had. One talked to her parent's church, who was raising money for water systems as it was, and they contributed money and another sent me a check herself. Both of these girls I only knew for a matter of days, but they both have a kingdom mindset and are willing to bless their brothers and sisters with their wealth.

If you are not familiar with Acts 2:42-47, now is the time to stop what you are doing and read that passage. Take a break from reading this ridiculously long blog and just take in how the early church took care of each other. The Acts 2 church shared everything they had "as any had need." hm... I should do that more (sorry stray thought).

I don't believe in coincidence. All of these things came together to help provide me with the opportunity to follow the Lord where He is taking me this break. I feel so blessed, and the best part of it is that I cannot take any credit for this myself. The Lord brought me to a place where all I could do was present the request to Him and He answered. I had nothing financially. He set into motion the ways he would provide as early as 2007... actually, if you include my church family who is helping me to go as well, as early as 2003 when I joined the church! There is no way that I could have orchestrated this myself. Really?! YES! The Lord is more than sufficient and he provides perfectly! I am humbled by all of this! If you haven't caught it yet... This is CRAZY stuff!

To anyone who sent money to help, thank you. Very few of you had the opportunity to see my reactions to each support letter I received or Facebook message I got back. I literally screamed a lot and jumped often. I can't show you what it looked like, but there are a few people who could probably reenact it if they know me well enough.

Overdressed

2009-08-10T10:46:00.005-04:00

So, I was going to write this post yesterday when I was unpacking my clothes that I wore all summer and trying to fit them all into my closet. My closet right now consists of a not so sturdy wardrobe that has limited room in it, but for a dorm room, this would probably suffice. However, yesterday I realized that I could not fit all of my clothes in it:

This shelf holds all of my t-shirts... and the weight from them is making it fall down

and here is my little space to hang up clothes

Now I am typing this because my closet is now falling apart from all of this weight (actually, I'm using Contemplating the Cross and the Unexpected Adventure to hold up a shelf on the bottom that is giving in). I am kind of playing around with the idea of simplifying my wardrobe and keeping just what I need. Of course I would keep some of my nice clothes and a lot of the t-shirts, but who needs like a hundred t-shirt that they don't even wear? Not me. This closet only holds my summer clothes right now... my winter clothes would probably take up two more closets!

Now I was getting ready to leave for Sojourn last night and all of my t-shirts fell out and onto the floor. SHEESH! I knew it was a problem, but really. My shelf had flipped forward and let go of all that it held up. I think that it's definitely time to downsize. This summer I was able to get by with just a suitcase full of clothes and just wash them every three weeks or so. We'll see what I end up doing, but either way. Whether or not I end up getting rid of a ton of stuff, I need to put this stuff somewhere... if anyone has any ideas, let me know!

Audrey

Prayer Requests:

Keep praying for our group that is going to help spread the news about the water crisis to our schools and churches this year. We are working with Edge and really need prayer. Last night at Sojourn we were going through Nehemiah and the pastor pointed out how Nehemiah teamed prayer up with planning in his response to the King. Pray that God would teach us how to use them both in order to prepare.
Pray for me as so many things are happening all at once... it's funny that I have a lot to do right now, but once school starts, it seems like there will be a lot less to worry about... haha. Just pray for my stress levels right now and that I will find rest and peace in God.

Love Lead Me On

2009-08-05T18:59:00.003-04:00

I was walking at a brisk pace into the mall in order to get to the bathroom. I was walking down a long hallway the ended in the women's bathroom. As I was reaching my destination, I passed an older woman and I didn't even give her a second thought. She walked slowly and with a little difficulty and I really needed to use the restroom. I stepped over several paper towels on my way to the stall and thought about how messy it was. When I came out of the stall, I see the same woman turning off the sink and drying her hands. I walked up to the sink to see her using her paper towel to pick up the other paper towels off of the floor. This woman who had difficulty getting around didn't want recognition for her deed, but just slowly made her way back down the hallway.

Her simple act of kindness caused me to think about my motivations for doing things in my everyday life. Am I just going about my business and ignoring needs all around me? Sure, no one really has to pick up papertowels off of the floor to be considered a kind person and it's definitely not necessary since they have people employed there to do that kind of thing. And this woman, I just walked past her without thinking about what kind of person she was and by the time I re-entered the mall from the hallway, I already knew she was a caring person. Either that or just very tidy. Either way, she did what few others would do without receiving pay. It's a dirty job and someone had to do it... may as well have been someone who needed nothing in return.

Just a narrative to think about... you may get something out of it, but then again, you may not. This beautiful woman made me think a little.

Darlin' Do Not Fear

2009-07-31T18:01:00.009-04:00

1:8 Leadership Experience 2009 just ended a week ago. The community that I had grown to love this summer is dispersed throughout the state. It's weird that we are not daily serving, being discipled and being transparent together anymore. I really miss the team, but I think that I learned a lot that God can use back on campus.

Since we parted ways last weekend, I have been busy at times and bored at others. A group of us from the team had a conference call on Wednesday night to discuss ways to bring the news about unsafe water in places all over the world to our campuses. The conference call went well and we hope to expand to other campuses soon. We want others to learn about water problems and that they will want to do something about it. We are trying to figure out the best ways to do that on our campuses. To begin we are going to share our hearts and what we saw in the Dominican Republic.

We saw some heart-breaking sights in the Dominican Republic. If you want to talk about it with me... let me know. Here are some pictures from one sight we visited this summer:

In this community, we saw a kid grab a dirty jug and fill it up in the same stream you see here. Just like the Dominicans living here, we don't think about the water we take in. We are so blessed where we are. You can see in one of the pictures that there were mountains of trash that houses were built on top of. Wow. I don't think I can describe what we saw here and do it justice. The pictures may have to tell the story for me. Thankfully, this community now has a water purifier.

If you want to be a part of this idea to spread the news about unsafe water to our campuses, let me know. It doesn't matter where you go to school in Kentucky. If you want to pray for us, you could specifically pray at 5:30pm, because we are having a conference call at that time.

Other than trying to start this initiative with several others, I have been chilling in Taylor Mill with a dog named Bumper while her owners are away. She's a sweet dog, but needs a lot of attention because of health problems. Her owners told me that I could go through their daughters old clothes and take some with me, so I took the opportunity to play dress up a bit and the result was a blue blazer with shoulder pads:

I like it... It may be mine from now on. Sorry E-Beth if you are surprised to find me wearing your old clothes on here. In the middle of taking this picture, Melodie called me and I couldn't help but laugh!

School is starting soon and that's scary for someone like me who has no idea what I'm going to do once I graduate. It was a relief to talk to my grandma today who didn't get upset when I told her about some of the things I may apply to do after I graduate. I would have thought she would expect me to find a career immediately or something. She liked the idea of traveling or doing something exciting before I get tied down to a career. haha... it's funny that she puts it that way. It's funny that I worry about the future a lot, but two songs in particular keep coming up on my itunes playlist: Darlin' Do Not Fear by Brett Dennen and Don't Get Comfortable by Brandon Heath... Simply reminders to trust in the Lord and not to get too comfortable where I am. Still frightening, but it's reassuring to know He's got it all under control.

So that's about it for now. My dad's coming in this weekend to spend time with my sister and I. I'm excited to see him. It's been a while since I last saw him. This week I'm in Northern Kentucky and next week I'm back to work and planning for the semester in Louisville. Thanks to anyone who reads this!

Audrey

prayer requests:

This initiative to spread the news about unsafe drinking water needs a lot of prayer. This is only the beginning and I'm praying for God's will to happen. Pray for God's will despite our plans.
School begins in just a few short weeks. There is so much to do. Pray for me to daily find rest in the Lord despite everything that needs to be done. Specifically, I need prayer because I have a master tutor presentation to finish up with my group before tutor training, this water initiative, and making sure that I am ready for school with supplies and books and stuff.
Pray for the Freshman coming in this year. Like I said, school is coming soon!

Where do we go from here?

2009-07-13T08:19:00.006-04:00

Dominican Republic
The team just got back from 11 days in the Dominican Republic. While we were there, we installed 4 water purifiers, taught adults in the area how to use them, and taught health education to children. It was humbling to realize that people who have so little on this earth can have so much joy. There is so much I want to say about the trip, but it would probably be better to talk to me in person, because there is no way I could type it all out here.

My heart goes out to haiti
During the second half of the week, many people from the team met a man named Timothé who was from Haiti. I began to talk to him a little bit in French, which was fun. He was selling things to raise money to begin a Youth Alive in his town in Haiti. I told him that I want to go to Haiti one day and he immediately told me about a group from Massachusetts who will be coming down and he got my e-mail.

Then, I had to rush to a team debriefing where everyone was talking about this place called The Hole. The Hole, as I would see the next day, was a community built around a garbage heap. No, heap is not the right word. It would be best to call it a mountain of trash. There were pigs who crawled in the water eating from it. Trash was everywhere in the water and people were bathing in, drinking from and going to the bathroom in the water. The water was in no condition to be lived off of.

After hearing about all of this (and thinking up what to say in French in my head), I ran back over to talk to Timothé. I asked him, "Est-ce que ta ville a l'eau purifié?" (translation: "Does your town have purified water?"). I even made up the word for purified to find out that it was right. It was an easy one... and God speaks every language. He told me that they did, but they had to buy it. he has been trying to get a water purifier in his town for a while.

I ran back to tell some of my teammates about it and to my surprise, a few were immediately interested. I was expecting this to be just me honestly. I think the Lord was already doing something here. As we talked about it more in the van the next day, the trip sounded even better. Right now, we are praying for God to tell us if this is what he really wants from us and that it's not just our plans. I am going to set up a meeting with Mark Hogg soon, so that we can talk to him.

The team grew closer
The team had one night where we really learned what it was like to live in community. I don't want to get into details here, but it began with a conversation about prayer, tears developed at some point, and it ended in a group hug. The next day we decided to rename the team the 1:8 Hug Experiment. We have been calling it the 1:8 Leadership Experiment up to this point. I think T-shirts are the next step.

We are entering the last leg of our summer
less than 2 weeks left and I miss my team today on our day off. I texted Peggy last night about how unfair it was that they draw us together as a team and we grow closer only to be torn apart by a day off. haha... but it honestly feels like I'm missing something now that the team isn't together right now. We meet up again at 6 or so. Please pray for us these next few days.

Week 3... beginning of week 4

2009-06-21T03:22:00.005-04:00

Hey everyone!

Sorry I haven't kept this updated very much, but we really haven't had too much free time this summer. I really really REALLY want to thank everyone who contributed to my summer, because this has been a great and humbling experience so far! Whether you are praying or you help fulfill a financial or physical need for me this summer, then you have really allowed God to help provide me with a summer devoted to Him!

Week 1&2
We have been poured into by people (so far that's Tommy Johnson and Chuck Lawless), who desire for us to grow in a deeper walk with Christ through discipleship for the first two weeks. It has been great to learn from God's word for several days!

Week 2
We have also worked with Jefferson Street Baptist Center (a homeless shelter: http://jeffersonstreet.org/) where God brought a relationship with one homeless couple to my teammate, Mallory, and I. We were even able to help provide one of them with some of her basic physical needs one day. It was a humbling experience to talk to this woman who only asked us for things that I take for granted (ie. socks). Please pray for her as they attempt to make it to Florida. she has been rejected by the church in the past and so she found her answers in Wiccan tradition and later Satanic. She doesn't know truth. Mallory and I shared as much as we could with her before we left.

Week 3
This past week we worked with Edge training for the Dominican Republic, helped Edge prepare a mission house for summer missions teams, and we repaired homes with KY Changers. It was an exhausting week. I met a girl who moved here a few years ago from Zambia at the mission house and I really enjoyed talking to her (but of course I love to hear about Africa!). At Ky Changers, my group made concrete stairs (not the most fun of jobs, but it's always good to see a finished product!) and painted at some houses.

Yesterday, was by far my hardest day. I was already exhausted from the past week, and we had a full day scheduled. It was full of its ups and downs. We started the day with a thing called Kindness Explosion. Actually forget the name. I'm not a fan of it. Basically, we spent the day handing out water to people at a nearby park. I didn't put on sunscreen against my better judgement, so I got a sunburn... SURPRISE! However, my teammate and I had a great talk with one man. He has some wrong views about scripture and seems to be searching for truth, but really doesn't know where to find it. Pray for him and his girlfriend.

After Kindness Explosion, I came back to find out my friend Melodie Hills came and surprised me at my dorm! I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy to see a friend. I hadn't seen many people all summer (except for a few that I've seen at REfresh, Metavasi, and Bardstown Road randomly) and I shrieked as soon as I saw her. I really needed that, because later I would lock my keys in my car again and, of course, cry about it like a baby. I was exhausted after being outside all day, and I just let it out. haha... but what's new? Audrey cries. My teammate Susan made up a song and sang it to me about how God gave us tearducts for crying and Mallory called AAA and we were at dinner in no time!

Last night I was in bed by 9:30pm and now I can't sleep, so I made you all a rather long update. I will probably write one in a week right before we leave for the DR. This week, we are helping register people at the Southern Baptist Convention, so pray for that! Francis Chan will be speaking on Monday morning at 10am, and we are going to it! I can't wait! I have heard him at Passion and read his book Crazy Love. This guy is seeking the Lord and I am really looking forward to hearing him speak again!

Thank you for whoever has the time to read all of this! I will write a short prayer list after this, for those who want to skim!

Audrey

Prayer requests:

Girl who I met at Jeff Street homeless shelter: She was seeking truth, but was rejected by the church. Now, so finds her answers through Satanic beliefs. Pray for God to reveal himself to her and remove the veil.
pray for the bicyclist at Waterfront park that Trenton and I talked to. he believes in Jesus, but that scripture can be interpreted differently depending on the person. Pray again for God to reveal himself.
Pray for my team and I as we are getting worn out. We need rest. Pray that we would find rest in the Lord so that we will not grow weary. Pray for us to be reminded to "Be still and know that He is God" during our busy week ahead of us.

11 days and counting down

2009-05-20T15:41:00.003-04:00

Ok, so... I just got my schedule for the summer and this blog will never be able to express how excited I am to begin! Ask my roommate, she has to hear about it. It's not only that, but all of my friends are beginning very exciting summers as well and it just really gives me joy to know that God is working in the lives of so many around me. I may even be a bit envious of a few, but then God reminds me that he has things in store for my summer that I don't even know about yet.

Praise the Lord for his provision! I was able to raise most of my money for this summer (about $1,900 out of $2,500) and that is enough to at least get me to the Dominican this summer. I just need to watch my expenses so that I can keep up with rent at my apartment. If you helped me financially or in prayer, I want to thank you soooooooo much! You are helping to give me a summer that God will use to challenge me and form me more into who he is.

I have one more day of work tomorrow, and then I will probably go home early next week to visit family/get my car fixed. From there I will come back to Louisville to pack and head to the seminary on Sunday May 31st. It's so close. I love seeing that we will be involved with Crestwood, Jeff St., and several other ministries in the area that I have seen impact lives.

I have a few books that I want to read this summer. These include Mere Christianity (which I have almost finished), The Reason for God, Breaking Free, and Jesus for President. If anyone is reading/has read these, I would love to have conversation about them. Let me know!

Prayer requests:

That my team this summer would hold tightly to the gospel during spiritual warfare and that we would remain in the Word so that we can be as useful as possible to the Lord.
pray that the Lord would give me the opportunity to overcome obstacles that keep me from becoming more like Him.
Pray that God would break our hearts for what breaks His. I want to come out of this with a greater understanding of God who is the origin of all Love.

To Really Be In Love

2009-02-21T13:02:00.006-05:00

Last week I went to the Cheesecake Factory with some friends and I was convicted. If you have ever been there, you know that it's expensive... I was looking at the menu and realized you can easily spend $30 there on one person (that's a meal, a drink, and, of course, cheesecake). That's a weeks worth of groceries for me. What's worse than that? I was willing to spend that much, when I could easily use that money to feed a child for a month through worldvision or another organization. I take too much for granted. It's alright to have nice things, but when I got my check, I realized how outrageous this was to me!

I was reading (surprise, surprise) Crazy Love the other day. Actually, I was reading ahead of my group, and I was humbled. There were these children in it who had, according to the world's view, nothing, however, the first thing that they will tell you is, "I love Jesus so much, and I sing praises to him everyday." These children were poor in the financial sense and one was blind, the other deaf. Why is it that I call myself, "A poor college student," even though at least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10.00 per day. Wow! That's about how much I would spend per day on rent. 53% live on less than $2 per day. I have shelter, food, water, freedom, and I can worship God freely. I am filthy stinking RICH! Yet, I don't regularly offer to God as much as these children do. Is this why I don't worship like these children do? Because I am so comfortable where I am with little need to sacrifice? Because I don't know what it's really like to live in need?

I think that God is trying to tell me (even us) something. This morning, at my home church, our pastor talked about being stained for life. This month, that has been the theme (If you are interested in listening to these sermons go to sievechurch.org). The stain that he's talking about is when we are cleaned by God when we accept Jesus, but that we are also stained by him so that others may know that we belong to him. This morning we were in 1 John 5:10-13:

"Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life."

So basically, by verse 10 up above, we are either stained or we are not. This testimony would be in his heart if he were stained. This is how we follow the greatest two commandments: Love God, love others (Matt. 22:37-40).

John 13:34-35 says:

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Stained by God. Jesus said, "By this all men will know that you are my disciples." Without following these two commandments, the foundation of all the others, we can't call ourselves Christians. Am I really loving God, or just his stuff? Francis Chan asks this question in Crazy Love. Am I just in it because I need some fire insurance on top of all my other worldly wealth? Or, do I truly desire to be in the presence of God and follow His commands out of love for Him and His creations?

"If you could have heaven with no sickness, and with all of your friends you had on earth, and all of the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?" -John Piper, God is the Gospel

Lord, I pray that you change my heart. In your pursuit, you help me to know what REAL love is and how I can show that to your people. Lord, I fail, but your mercy is never ceasing. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad in all our days (ps. 90:14). I pray that we love because we know that love is from You, so "whoever loves has been born of God and knows God." God you are love (1 John 4:7-8)! We know that your commandments are not burdensome and that our faith is the victory that overcomes the world (1 John 5:3-4). Give us boldness. Give us Love. Teach us to Love.

Orientation thing-a-magig

2009-02-07T16:41:00.003-05:00

So, I just got back from meeting my whole team together for the first time ever! It's so exciting. Every time I get into contact with them, I am so encouraged by what it is that God is doing on all of our campuses. Uh-mazing... Our God is absolutely, positively the Greatest force there is! Also, hearing about what we will be doing this summer... it just makes me want to start NOW!!!

I really can't believe that I am going to be living in community with so many new people, who all have the same goal of growing in the Lord as well. We did this project where we drew a tree and used different qualities about our trees (like the roots, trunk, buds, thorns, flowers, fruit) to describe ourselves to the group. It was so great to see the diversity in our group! If you had been there, you would understand my excitement... I absolutely did not want to leave. Also, many of the people on my team are reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan just like my small group is here. I love being able to talk about our Lord and discussing the ideas from this book with them. Still: I definitely recommend the book to anyone who wants to read it!

I have raised $505 at this point! Only $1 995 to go! It is so humbling/restful to know that God is providing for my trip to the Dominican Republic. I am happy that God has helped so far, and am still brainstorming fundraising ideas. If any ideas come, let me know!

I got a card in the mail today from one of my high school teachers who is helping to support me on this trip. It's good to know that people are praying for the team and that they aren't just sending my letters back without thought! I'm not saying that's what people are doing, but it's still good to have evidence that this trip is being prayed for. Thank you everyone who is praying and providing for this trip!

Prayer requests:
1) My team: This time pray for their relationships with family/friends who may not be supportive of their decision to participate in summer missions this summer. Pray for them (and me too) to continually be reminded of what the Lord can/will do through them this summer!
2) Me: to remember to find rest in the Lord. Going through the day-to-day mess that is college life, I forget to "be still and know that He is God." God is the only thing that can get me through my weekly routine of 20 hour job, 15 credit hours, BCM responsibilities plus my social life. haha... i enjoy it (of course!), but sometimes it wears on me. I am definitely looking forward to spring break (where I will be going on Beach Reach, a spring break mission opportunity).

thank you so much for reading my random thoughts! Merci et passez un bon weekend!

A Demain,
Audrey

I'm not a blogger... but here goes

2009-01-30T20:00:00.000-05:00

If you know me, I'm not much of a blogger. I just waste a lot of time on Facebook (not a good habit to have). However, I thought that maybe keeping up a blog for the coming summer might be interesting and a little easier to keep organized than e-mails.

If you are unfamiliar with what I am going to be doing this summer, I will explain. I will be on a team of 18 college students from all over the state who will be serving God this summer in the city of Louisville. This team is called 1:8 Leadership Experience, named after the bible verse Acts 1:8:
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses
in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
This team is a great opportunity to serve others while also being poured into. The focus of this team is to build us students up as leaders in our community by giving us first hand experience as leaders. We will spend several weeks in Louisville and then head to the Dominican Republic for 10 days where we will be installing water purification systems and sharing our faith. If you want to read more about this trip and who we are working with you can visit these sites:

Acts 1:8 description: http://www.kybaptist.org/kbc/welcome.nsf/9a3ba6bea069d4fe852569590065c6fe/8af0220bfcf751348525735c00534643!OpenDocument&Highlight=0,1:8
Edge Outreach: http://www.edgeoutreach.com/edgeoutreach.html

When I first interviewed for this team, I was really interested in what two students who were on the team last year were saying. They talked a lot about community and being challenged spiritually in ways that they hadn't been before. I thought this sounded scary, but very exciting at the same time. I wanted to learn more of what it means to be a leader. Not in the way the world sees it, but in the way Jesus was a leader.

I feel like this summer is something I need. In fact I know it is. I had allowed events in my life over this past summer to affect my relationship with Christ, and I (notice the I) was striving so hard to get back into the same place that I previously was in with my relationship with God. I couldn't do it by myself. God wants to continually have a relationship with me and sanctify me... If only I would allow him that. I'm ready for this now.

I was talking to my friend Dani (she was on the team last year) about feeling like I needed to prepare myself for this summer, because I have been failing so much. She warned me that I shouldn't feel guilty or allow shame to enter my choices about this summer (though it isn't a bad idea to grow continually in the Lord until this summer). She told me that several people almost quit the team last year because they felt like they weren't strong enough Christians to serve God. She reminded me that this summer will be about growing in the Lord and resting in Him. We may stumble, we may fail, we are not perfect; however, we can have faith that we are serving the only one who is perfect and never fails! How exciting is that?! Wow! I can rest easy knowing this, but, when I forget this, I stress out!

God uses those who the world may view as nothing, so that He may be glorified. Look at David whose brothers thought he would amount to nothing, but he killed a giant; look at the prostitutes to whom Jesus showed compassion; look at Mary who was just a child and an unmarried virgin who carried God as her son. I am as ready as I'll ever be for this summer and I musn't allow Satan to get a foothold in my mind telling me that I am worthless in God's sight... IT'S A LIE! God can use me anywhere, anytime, doing anything. We'll see how far He takes that this summer.

I am reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan right now... and (MAN!) is it good! I definitely recommend it... but it just keeps reminding me of the great and awesome power of God. I mean... He invented the laugh for crying out loud!!!!!!!! haha... I mean... I you heard mine you'd know!

This weekend 1:8 Leadership Experience team will meet together for the first time since interviews and I will keep you guys posted on what is going on. For now, I will leave you with some prayer requests:

My mind: Pray for me in my state of mind. I go through so much spiritual warfare where I believe these lies that Satan tells me... and I so easily believe him... Please pray for me as I realize that I am who God wants me to be and that I continually seek his face despite how I feel about myself
My team: remember what I said about my friend Dani and her team? That many of them did not feel strong enough to be on the team... If I feel that my self-worth has been attacked... I wouldn't doubt that others feel the same way. Pray for them to see that God will use them in mighty ways this summer.
My funds: I am trying to remember that the most important thing about this summer is not money, but for a broke college student, it seems like a huge thing. We need to raise $2500 for our trip to the Dominican Republic and $500 is due this weekend. I have raised $230 so far. Just pray (and i know He is provider though I sometimes forget) for Him to provide for this summer. If anyone has ideas on fundraising... let me know!

Thank you for your time and sorry this post was so long, but remember my team in your prayers!