Knowing that I am responsible for this more than anyone else, I am going to attempt to describe something that I am beginning to realize that I have struggled with for sometime and been hurt by when others do the same.
Our words are vicious things. Jesus, Paul and James (and many other writers of scripture) all warn of the dangers of unwise speech and the power that our tongues possess. I'm beginning to see how powerful my words can be even the subtle ways it stabs at the person who receives them. Normally, we think of unwholesome, crude or corrupting talk as gossip, dirty jokes, rude remarks, etc. However, I'm beginning to see more to it than that. It can be a complaint that does not build up; it can be a phrase spoken with bitterness of heart; it can be truth spoken without a shred of love.
I'm very guilty of this. I was upset a few weeks ago by a simple phrase that cut deep into me and then this week, I did the very thing that had hurt me so. I did it to a further extent without regard to the potential pain it might cause the other person. It was the type of thing you say when you are upset and, yet, it's truthful. I was telling the person how I felt and confessing that I was jealous of something they had, but then, as I got more comfortable with the conversation, I began to tell her the specific lies that I was believing about her. These were lies based on my observations and the enemy's tactics to break a friendship. This hurt her and caused her much grief. It would have been easy to say, "Well, that's just how I feel," but that's not fair to her. For my emotions (feelings) can come from a sinful heart.
Pause: How cunning the enemy can be! I cannot stand that fallen angel! He desires to tear down and to keep people from growing in the Lord. He will use whatever he can to ruin what is of God and, easily, I am tempted by his schemes. He will do anything to delay the end of his world. I am learning to be proactive to guard myself against his vicious and false lies, while putting on the armor that God provides for his followers. God alone is strong enough to overcome evil, so I need to learn that above all else I need to submit evil thoughts to the Lord.
Our emotions, thoughts, creativity, etc were all created in the image of God. Created for good. God is a jealous God, but a perfectly jealous God. He's not jealous in the unhealthy way that a man might be jealous that his wife simply talks to another man, but jealous in a healthy way that a man might be jealous that his wife is becoming more intimate with other men than she is with him. God is perfectly righteous in jealousy for His people to know more of him instead of following worthless idols. However, because of the fall, our emotions and thoughts that were once good have been perverted. We grieve the loss of our idols and hurt when our sense of entitlement seems to have been crushed. This is an unhealthy and imperfect use of our image.
When we submit these emotions, thoughts, etc to God, we can then use them in light of His perfect unity. We can use them in a healthy way and to build others up in love. "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" (Ephesians 4:29). Later in Ephesians, Paul writes that instead of foolish talk or crude joking, "let there be thanksgiving." Take comfort that God is in control even when we hurt from the actions of others (whether they know it or not). Be comforted by the truths of the character of God. Paul says when talking to people who don't know the Lord: "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person" (Colossians 4:6). I don't think this ends with people who don't understand the gospel, for we all can spare some room to be more gracious.
Paul exhorts in Colossians to put to death all that is earthly within the people of the church, then later specifically calls out specific sins: "But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth" (Colossians 3:8). I don't know if this was his intention, but it appears that the first sin listed, anger, seems to often cause the rest. I know that the speech of my mouth toward my friend this week was caused by anger that I allowed to envelope me as I felt mistreated. How easily I forget to clothe myself with Christ and forgive as the Lord forgave me letting the peace of Christ rule in my heart for we are all one body. Speaking the word of Christ with emotions submitted to Him is greater and more encouraging and community building than speech fueled by emotions that are perverted by sin. "For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45).
I need to learn to go to the Lord for peace and joy and be reminded of how He values me! He chose me; I'm not an afterthought or second place. I'm not chosen last, but I'm a precious daughter of God. He sent His son to die for me. Wow, how I forsake this when I worry about other things and allow my emotions to be succumbed to them. I'm praying for the heart of God toward people I encounter and learning what it looks like to love others.
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